The minute you start thinking about it, you’re in trouble. It’s the moment you realize you really need to get out of wherever you are and step in another level of your life. It’s the moment you realize you need to move out.
When I had that feeling, I felt all shaking inside. Something was telling me that I had to go, that it was my time. I didn’t know how to take it back then, I barely travelled abroad, never the less, I have been a lot on local road trips driving a tour van from these guys. But that feeling was strong and I couldn’t avoid it. Something was telling me that I had to finally make a choice to change my life. I was depressed and nothing would bring a smile on my face.
Finding a job back then was like finding a diamond in the grass. I know I sound melodramatic here, but hey it wasn’t an easy decision and for sure it changed my life.
After I realized I had to make it happen, talking to my parents was the hardest part. How they would accept I was going away from them? And my sister would have come too? Knowing how sensitive they were on the topic, it would have been like hurting them. So I waited until few months before leaving.
I had to work two years (whatever I could find really) to put some money on the side. (and I followed a blogger back then, which helped me on saving from zero. Story for another time?)
But then I was ready. We came to London twice before moving out, we knew it a little bit. My parents thought I was joking. Then, when they saw my serious face getting even more serious, they started taking it seriously too. They understood I needed a new chapter in my life, which was getting too sad at that time. I think they got it eventually. They understood me.
But still, they were expecting me to come back in a short time. I didn’t. I stayed. I needed opportunities, I needed independence, i needed to grow up. And so I did. I grew up.
Some friends or acquitances can say I still have to change something in myself and of course I agree, who doesn’t? But my family knows how much I have changed. And the most incredible thing is that I am still the same person I was six years ago, while dynamics in my personality have taken a long road.
And now, while I am editing these pictures where I am all dressed in black and yellow, something recalls into my memories. I was reading On the Road and I knew that I would love that book, even before finishing the first ten pages. It was an inspiration for me at that time. This is exactly what I needed. Travelling, exploring, adventures.
I didn’t know if those things I was seeking would have been good or bad, but this is life. It’s always either one of them or in between. So, I prepared myself. I was about to fly away and move out. Something I thought I would never have the guts to do. And I was doing it.
You know, when in the movies you are about to watch the protagonist say something like “I didn’t know I could have make it. But I did. I made it”. Well sometimes, it’s possible. You need a plan and you need a backup plan, but hey you can do it too.
In the end, “the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes “Awww!” “
Moon Earrings: ROSEGAL
Photos by theweirdycat